Tea and Thoughts

Good morning Montreal,

I woke up very early as usual - I couldn’t get back to sleep so I decided to get up and blog my thoughts.

Yesterday was a unforgettable moment, I said my goodbyes to my close friends and received a lot of love back as well. Not only did my friends give me this melted heart feeling but what touched me the most was watching my mother cry as she expressed how much she loved me and how she felt hurt that I was leaving but was also very proud of me. She mentioned that even though we don’t get along, she raised me right.. She raised me to become very independent - My hands are strong and that I am a very smart girl. I hugged my mom - I didn’t want to cry because It would have made it really difficult to leave her. It is really hard because it was just us two for as long as I have lived in that house. I do love my mom very much - we have a lot of disagreements but I know I am who I am because of her.

I look at Chloe as she was barking, I came to her and hugged her so tight, kissed her head and said thank you so much. I remember bringing her home and from that moment I knew she was my light. She brought so much life to me and my mom. When my dad left, I knew that my mom was lonely… Growing up.. I was never allowed any dogs or cats - I wanted one so badly but my mom was so against it. When I worked and saved up enough for one - Me and my boyfriend at that time drove to Morden, Manitoba to pick up this Pomeranian Chihuahua Jack Russel mixed brown pup. It was a winter snowy night.. The breeder met us at a parking lot and I saw her. Her baby bear face popped out of the small blanket covers.. I knew she was the one. I said “Ken, thats her! thats the one!”

When I brought Chloe home.. My mom thought she was cute, she wasn’t as excited as I was but throughout the days that went by - I suddenly noticed an attachment she had with Chloe. Chloe was also attached to her as well and the two were just inseparable. I guess it was because I was working lots and my age at that time, I was going out lots and barely at home. Chloe would follow my mom everywhere, day to night - sleeping on the same bed with her, cuddling with her, getting her belly rubbed by my mom while they both lay on the couch. My mom would tell her out loud how much she loved her so much. “Chloe, Ba noi thuong Chloe nhieu lam, khong co ai thuong Chloe nhieu hon toi” 

Chloe, you brought life to me and my mom - I love you so much baby girl

And that is why I can’t take Chloe with me, It would be such a selfish thing to do - I was already leaving which was the most heart breaking to her.. Taking Chloe would kill her.

I left on a good note with my mom, I left knowing that my relationship with her will be so much better because the distance would bring us closer..To know that I can finally have video callings with her and actually having a proper conversation about how her day was, how Chloe is, what is on my mind and hers..  I’m so thankful for this new beginning - I get to see my dad more often because we live in the same city and I get a better relationship with my mom. What more could I ask for?

It’s only going to get better from here..

Let the beautiful moments begin